Starting a New Project is Hard!

I cannot move on from a fictional character.

Characters have a way of grabbing hold of us, don’t they?

In May, I finished the first draft of my WIP, Brotherly Love, after taking a FastDraft workshop with Candace Havens. And “first draft” is definitely the appropriate term for it:  There’s extraneous scenes, missing scenes, some less-than-stellar writing, and at least three attempts at an ending.

In short, it needs a lot of work. But since then, I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels. I haven’t done much revising yet, mostly just brainstorming. This path or that path? Why does this character have zero flaws? Should that character be a doctor or a minister?

Ahhhh, the questions are never-ending.

NaNo is Coming …

I’m super excited about doing NaNo this year.

Actually, no.

I’m super excited about the idea of doing NaNo this year.

I’m not really sure what I’ll write for NaNo. But I’ve got all of October to figure that out, right?

Before NaNo Comes FastDraft

Yup, I was just insane enough to sign up for another FastDraft workshop right before NaNo.  It starts tomorrow and last week was supposed to be dedicated to preparing for that.

I struggled all week to figure what what I’ll write over the next two weeks.  I struggled to develop new characters and relationships and conflicts.

Why has this been so hard? Usually developing characters is what I’m good at and they come fairly easily to me. But not this time.

The Voices Characters in My Head

A big part of the problem is that I can’t get the two main characters of Brotherly Love out of my head.   I’m always thinking about how I can tweak the plot to raise the stakes, put them into conflict, and tell the story I want to tell.

My book is almost finished, but I'm just not ready to say goodbye to these characters. Maybe if I just read the last chapter really slow...

We’ve all felt this way at one point, right?

They’re my friends. I love them. To start another project feels like abandoning them.

Does that sound crazy? Other writers can probably understand these feelings,  but writers are pretty weird to begin with, huh?

Judging by the number of memes about fictional characters and the way we hold on to them makes me think that readers get it, too.

Either that, or they’re just as crazy as us writers. 😀

Not Abandonment, Just a Break

I have to keep telling myself that I’m not abandoning my boys.  I’m not giving up on them. But I do worry that by the end of November, I’ll be so focused on the new manuscripts that Brotherly Love will fall to the wayside.

I even worry I’ll  forget about my boys.

Then I remember a story I started writing back in 2009 but never finished. I still think about that story. Not every day anymore, but often enough. I even still dream about those characters sometimes. The only reason I haven’t gone back to work on that story is that it’s fan fiction and my focus right now is on writing stories that I can publish.

So no, I won’t forget about my Brotherly Love boys in just a couple months. And yet I worry so much about it, I’m having trouble moving on even though I know I need to take a break.

I just have to keep telling myself that it’s okay.  Everything will be alright.  

Right?

 

 

 

Diversity and Segregation on Bookshelves

acceptance, diversity, segregation

Acceptance ……………………. Diversity ………………….. Segregation.
Photos by photogrammy1, on flickr

My husband and I had a conversation about diversity and racism the other day. Our son (8 years old) is one of just a few white kids in his circle of friends, but he doesn’t even notice.

He doesn’t care whether his friends are black, white, indian, or anything else. They’re just … *gasp*… people. I love that our school and community has helped to teach him this, but it’s also lulled me into believing this is true everywhere. I mean, it’s 2012, aren’t we past racism and segregation by now?

Apparently not. Author Coe Booth writes about her experience in her article Separate, Not Equal at CBC Diversity:

I really thought the photo of a teenage boy looking out onto his neighborhood would attract the attention of the audience I had in mind when I was writing the book — teenagers, especially boys, who don’t usually find a book that speaks to them. And I’ve since heard from lots of teens who tell me that it was the cover that initially drew them to the book.

The thing I never imagined was that the cover (and the covers of my subsequent books) might create an automatic ghettoization of my work.

Read more of the article here.

I had no idea that there were separate genres called “Street Lit” and “Urban Fiction”. Why do we even need them? Why wouldn’t these books just be shelved with general Young Adult or Adult fiction?  Here’s the Goodreads description of Tyrell:

Tyrell is a young, African American teen who can’t get a break. He’s living (for now) with his spaced-out mother and little brother in a homeless shelter. His father’s in jail. His girlfriend supports him, but he doesn’t feel good enough for her – and seems to be always on the verge of doing the wrong thing around her. There’s another girl at the homeless shelter who is also after him, although the desires there are complicated. Tyrell feels he needs to score some money to make things better. Will he end up following in his father’s footsteps?

Do the words “African American” really need to automatically put this book in a genre other than Young Adult?  It sounds like this book is about a teenager who is dealing with some family, personal, and romantic struggles while coming to age. Isn’t that what the Young Adult genre is all about?

Race and Sexuality — Not So Different

Usually when I’m thinking about issues like diversity, acceptance, and equality it’s in the context of sexuality because that’s a common component of most of the stories I want to tell.  I hadn’t considered before now that my books, when published, could be shelved under LGBT or Gay/Lesbian fiction.

I really, really hope that doesn’t become the case. The stories I want to tell aren’t because my characters are gay or deal with issues that only someone who is gay would be interested in.  They’re stories about teenagers on their paths to becoming adults who just happen to be gay.  Just like a character just happens to have brown hair. Or is tall. Or short.  My character being gay is part of the story, but it’s not the story.

But most importantly, by separating books into these specialized genres, we’re sending the message that they wouldn’t appeal to the “average” young adult reader. That only “certain readers” would be interested. Well, of course only “certain readers” would be interested — no one person likes all books — but whether the reader is gay or black is not that deciding factor.

Shelving books with characters who are not white or not straight under general young adult fiction would be one small but important step towards normalizing what society considers “different.”

I’m proud of my son for knowing that people are people, regardless of race. As he grows older and sexuality becomes something he’s more aware of, I have confidence it will matter just as much to him, which is to say: not at all because people are people.

 

Amazon links are affiliate links.

Just a Hobby?

Several months back, my husband and I agreed that one night each week  I should go out and do something for me. As in, without the kids.

Now, I’m pretty sure what my husband had in mind was that I’d go out with some friends.  Maybe even make more friends.  Instead, I got all wide-eyed and said, “I can go to the library and write!”

Hey, it’s my time. I can do what I want with it.

Tonight on my way out the door, my husband said, “Have fun!”

In my head I thought, “Fun. Yeah. Revisions are so not fun!”

And that’s when it hit me. I’m not going out for a night of fun every week.  I’m not getting some relaxing time away from the kids. A night out with the girls.

No. What I’m really doing is working a second job.

I’m okay with that. It’s what I want.

My husband refers to my writing as “a hobby” which I suppose, technically, it is since I’ve yet to make any money from it.  Somehow I can’t quite place it in the same category as sewing or scrapbooking or pumpkin carving, though. I don’t ever intend to make money from those things.

I’d like to think that maybe someday I’ll make a little money from my writing. Enough to make a decent hourly wage after all the blood and sweat and tears poured into each story? No, but money isn’t the main reason I write.

On the other hand, I don’t get paid to take care of our children or clean the house or make the meals, but those things certainly aren’t “hobbies.” They’re the primary tasks of my first job.

When I was writing fan fiction, that was a hobby.  Now I’m writing with my own original characters and building my own plots and working with the intention to publish. I don’t think the word “hobby” fits anymore.

Nope. I can now consider myself working two jobs. Except that, of course, being a stay-at-home-mom is never considered a job. (But that’s a rant for another time.)

 

What about you? Is your writing (or something else you like to do) a hobby or a job? When did it change, or was it always a job?

 

New School Year Resolutions

Resolutions and goals

Source: creepyed

 

I tend to make resolutions three times a year at transitions in my life: the New Year, the start of summer, and the start of the school year.  They usually revolve around home management with the occasional weight loss goal thrown in if I’m really feeling ambitious.

Today is the first day of school for my son, so I reviewed my list of goals for the summer to see how many I actually accomplished.

On my Things To Do: Around The House list, I completed 1.5 items out of 10. ( The half item was “sell old cloth diapers” — we made the effort to sell them but haven’t sold them all yet.)

My Things To Do: Writing list fared only slightly better: 3 out of 13 items.  Two of those items related to getting this blog started up.

So what are my new goals now that the School Year has started? 

Well, a few weeks ago I did start a new task schedule/management/tracking system that seems to working for me.  It’s all about working on those basic routines.

So my first goal is to continue using this system.

I’m also going to make it a point to take baby steps.  Obviously I still have these Summer Lists to complete. But instead of looking at them as one big list, I’m going to focus on one thing at a time.

My current goals over the next couple weeks:

  • Home: do one item from the Things To Do: Home list each week.
  • Blog: Maintain a regular blogging schedule, at least 3 posts a week
  • Writing: Write out character profiles for the major characters in Brotherly Love

It’s going to be haaard sticking to those goals and not doing more and burning out by the end of September.

Especially the writing one. But it needs to be done. I need to pull my characters out of my head and onto paper so I can  restructure the plot so I can get writing again so I can finish the 2nd draft! YAY!  I’m really itching to jump back into the writing, but I know it will just create more mess to clean up later if I don’t make my plan now.

Am I the only one who makes these kind of goals multiple times a year?